


breaking glass

by madasaboxofcats



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F, post-6741, tw: mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 19:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6869689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madasaboxofcats/pseuds/madasaboxofcats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-6741. Major spoilers. </p><p>-</p><p>She hears the sound of glass breaking in everyday noises. </p><p>A taxi honking is a plate crashing to the floor. </p><p>The creak of the hardwood floor under her feet in the 3am silence is a coffee mug pushed aside then shattering into pieces. </p><p>Each time she wonders <i> is it real is it real is it real. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	breaking glass

She hears the sound of glass breaking in everyday noises.

A taxi honking is a plate crashing to the floor. 

The creak of the hardwood floor under her feet in the 3am silence is a coffee mug pushed aside then shattering into pieces. 

Each time she wonders _is it real is it real is it real_. 

She asks Root sometimes, until she feels like a broken record, or someone out of one of those dumb Hunger Games movies. _Are you really here? Am I? You'd better be real because I'm fucking tired of this shit real fake real fake real fake._  

Glass breaks and everything real seems to fade away. 

\-- 

She breaks herself out of Samaritan’s fortress seven thousand times before she escapes. 

It’s Root who finds her. 

(It’s always Root, real or fake, Root every time.) 

\-- 

Glass breaks and she is back in the bed, tied down (and not in the good way). 

 _real fake real fake real fake._  

\-- 

They don’t talk about the other times. 

She tells them as much as she needs to for them to understand but nothing more than that. Even Root doesn’t ask, and Shaw is mostly fine with that. Sharing is overrated or whatever. 

Root just stares at her like she can’t believe she’s alive, and for a while, that’s enough. It’s enough that she’s there, quiet and respectful of every boundary she thinks Shaw has.

But sometimes Shaw wants to tell her to push a little because she’s _here_  and she’s not fragile and with everything else, everything except for her (now), Root is dogged and fierce. Shaw is tired of being treated like something breakable. 

She maybe wants to tell Root about the other times but like hell she’s going to start that conversation on her own. Other Root would ask her about it, about the Other Roots before her, about Greer and Samaritan and everything that happened. But this Root, her Root, doesn’t push and doesn’t ask and sometimes it makes Shaw want to scream. 

Sometimes she misses Other Root. 

\-- 

The day Root kisses her is the day things shatter.

She pulls away. 

She can’t. Not like this.

\--

She shoots Reese a hundred times before she kills Root the first time. 

She turns the gun to herself right afterward. 

\--

She doesn’t remember all of it.

Or, she doesn’t think she remembers. 

It’s hard to know the truth anymore, hard to cypher out dreams and imagination and simulations and reality. It doesn’t feel like it’s worth it to try. 

It all boils down to the same thing: she isn’t in control of her own actions, of what she thinks or what she does. 

If this is real, with the Root who looks scared all the time and doesn’t ask questions, aren’t her thoughts – _real fake real fake real fake_ \-- controlled by Greer just the same?

_\--_

Root calls her Sameen and Shaw and sometimes Sam but never baby.

Shaw is relieved. 

\-- 

“I stopped. Looking for you.” 

Shaw waits for the clamor, for the tinkling of the glass because no, this has to be fake. 

“Bullshit.” 

Root is tearful and guilt-ridden and the only sound Shaw hears is Root’s breathing – uneven, holding and releasing, unsteady. She waits and waits and waits for the glass to break. 

“I’m so sorry, Sameen.” 

Something else breaks instead. 

“The Machine, She told us to stop. Told _me_ to stop.” 

Root keeps talking – _shouldn’t have stopped, if She was gone what would be the point, needed you to have world to come back to, sorry sorry sorry sorry_ – but she doesn’t listen or respond. 

She knows this is real because she is disappointed. 

\-- 

She hears the sound of glass breaking in everyday noises. 

Bear’s bark smashes and fractures.

The pop of her gun clatters like the pieces of plate or mug or wine glass that remain in tact. 

Shaw remains in tact, too. 

\-- 

She kisses Root on a Tuesday because she is _real_. 

Root is messy and disappointing and looks sad and afraid and lonely too much of the time and she is _here_ so Shaw kisses her and doesn’t stop. 

Root kisses her back like she can’t believe Shaw is real either. 

Like maybe they’re both dreaming, so they might as well make it good before they wake up. 

It’s the first time Root doesn’t treat her like she’s porcelain. She pushes and she pulls and she takes and takes and takes. It’s greedy and desperate and selfish and Shaw loves every second of it because _this_ is Root. 

\--

She only kills Root four times before she starts turning the gun on herself first. 

\-- 

Sometimes when the glass breaks, she hears Root’s screams. 

Not the fun ones. 

The screams from the Stock Exchange that had echoed at the back of her mind for months. Screams that Shaw had put in Root’s mouth when she pushed and ran. 

Sometimes instead of glass, Shaw hears the screams and she doesn’t know which is worse. 

Still, she’d do the same all over again if she had to. 

Because Root is real and alive and safe and that is enough.

Shaw is real and alive and safe, too. 

\--

The park is empty except for them.

Shaw sits on the merry-go-round while Root pushes, and she spins and she spins and she spins.

**Author's Note:**

> It's 3am. What am I doing. HELP.


End file.
